Wake N’ Blog For April 2nd: ‘There Goes Peter Cottontail, Was Slammed To The Ground And Is Now Quite Frail’
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• A woman dressed up in an Easter Bunny suit was assaulted outside a candy shop by an unidentified man. Standing outside the Alps Sweet Shoppe in Fishkill, New York, the suspect, who was described by witnesses as approximately 17-years-old with blond hair, slammed the woman, who was wearing a white bunny suit at the time to the ground, and then ran off. Happy Friggin’ Easter! [MSNBC/AP]
• Here’s a funny spoof on MLB Network commercials. [TAUNTR]
• Teammates of Marc Rczepczynski on the Toronto Blue Jays have taken to referring to him as “Scrabble.” [Big League Stew]
• An iPhone app that helps you explore your Duke hatred? I’m in. [Out of Bounds]
• New Jersey Nets center Brook Lopez loves him some of The Simpsons. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• A Jets fan excited about the draft? Were am I? Bizarro World? [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• GAH! Gigantic NBA players are on the loose! [Ball Don’t Lie]
• Even the Fake Tiger Woods is hurting. [The Last Angry Fan]
• I wasn’t aware there was such a thing as the “Jose Reyes Dong Prank” but it worked on WFAN’s Mike Fracesca. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Jimmy Rollins of the Philadelphia Phillies is set to completely destroy his swing by attempting to break the world record for longest batted ball. Smart. [Walkoff Walk]
• Here are some suggestions for competitive outlets for non-athletic dorks in their 30s. Gratefully, I don’t need these activities – I am a natural born athlete. [Uncoached]
• A mashup of cooking show temptress Nigella Lawson that makes it sound like she’s talking about sex? Yes. [Warming Glow]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Seeing Ken Griffey Jr. In Backwards Hat Now Just Depressing
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