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Sportress of Blogitude

How Long Are You Willing To Ignore The Anguished Oink Of Pigman Toews?

Sweet fancy Moses, what the hell is that?

Courtesy of Assignment Chicago (via Puck Daddy), comes this photo of a Chicago mural depicting Blackhawks star Jonathan Toews with the Stanley Cup in the background. One of the many problems with the mural is Toews is in full-on Pigman Mode. Look at those nostrils!

The esteemed Mr. Wyshynski at PD addresses the fact that hockey fans and players alike are notoriously superstitious by nature, and by simply featuring the Stanley Cup prominently in the mural could be a sure-fire way to curse a franchise for decades.

That aside, the mural likely didn’t quite turn out as planned. I actually feel horrible for the person who was commissioned to create this piece. I imagine he or she would like nothing better than to get up there and do a little touching up. In fact, it should be demanded. People (like me) can be extremely heartless in their critique of artwork. My guess is it will take a long, long time for the artist to live this one down, especially considering the bevy of pop culture references that can be used to describe it.

I, of course, am electing to go with the Pigman reference from Seinfeld, but others have also characterized the interesting representation of Toews as an homage to Dr. Bernardi from The Twilight Zone episode, “The Eye of the Beholder” or a mutant character from the H.G. Wells classic, The Island of Dr. Moreau.

Whichever way you choose to describe it, it’s a whole lotta ugly. But you know what? I wish there were Pigmen. You get a few of these Pigmen walking around I’m looking a whole lot better. Then if somebody wants to fix me up at least they could say, “Hey he’s no Pigman!”

And I’m done.

City of Broadly-Painted Shoulders [Assignment Chicago]
Blackhawks fans snort in disgust at Toews/pig nose mural [Puck Daddy]