Susan Finkelstein’s ‘Sex For World Series Tickets’ Trial As Comical As Expected
I am sure you all remember the tragically comical case of poor, poor Susan Finkelstein, the sad sack of a woman who is now on trial for charges that she was desperate enough for World Series tickets last season to see her beloved Phillies take on the Yankees that she was allegedly willing to prostitute herself out in exchange. After setting up a Craigslist ad – DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX – which indicated that she was a “[d]iehard Phillies fan – gorgeous tall buxom blonde – in desperate need of two World Series tickets. Price negotiable – I’m the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!”
Unfortunately for Finkelstein, the man who responded to the ad was an undercover cop. And the rest, as they say, is hilarious history. Thankfully, the culmination of this crazy case in court did not disappoint when it comes to awkwardness, zingers and witty repartee.
Finkelstein’s entertaining trial is scheduled to wrap-up today in Bucks County Court and Finkelstein’s attorney, William J. Brennan, Esquire, did not let the moment on the grand stage pass him by.
Brennan said Finkelstein’s only business had been to get herself into the stadium to watch the Fightin’s play the Yanks.
“If a prostitute deals only in Phillies World Series tickets, her shelf life is about as long as Halley’s Comet,” Brennan told the jury.
Noting the Phillies’ historical futility in getting to the Fall Classic, he added: “If she is in the business, is she just open in the Octobers when we have a World Series? That business is not going to be open very often.”
Robert Bugsch, a sergeant Bensalem Police Department and head of its special investigations unit, headed up the initial investigation after he discovered Finkelstein’s ad while “trolling” Craigslist.
“I can take care of the investigation myself,” Bugsch replied, adding that when word of a Bensalem sweep gets out, prostitutes steer clear of the township for a while.
Bugsch replied to Finkelstein’s ad, saying he had three tickets, but “need to see your photo first.”
“No problem, Robert. Here’s a few for ya!” Finkelstein messaged back. Attached were three color shots of her bare breasts.
The photos were distributed to jurors, who rapidly passed them along after a glance or two.
Boob photos? Bonus. If you’re going to have to appear for jury duty anyway, this wasn’t a bad trial to get assigned to, that’s for sure.
When Officer Michael Brady – the man who Sergeant Bugsch arranged to meet Finkelstein at a Philadelphia bar testified, Brennan once again used the Phillies infrequent appearance in the World Series as a means of defense for his client’s actions.
“You’ve never had a prostitution case where the alleged prostitute asked for a second ticket for her husband, have you?” Brennan asked.
“No, I haven’t,” Brady said.
As for building a prostitution business around postseason tickets, Brennan asked Brady whether the team had been in the World Series very often.
“No, unfortunately,” Brady said.
At that point, Judge Albert J. Cepparulo interjected.
“I’ll take judicial notice of that,” he said, “being a long-suffering Phillies fan.”
Really, it’s a crying shame this trial couldn’t continue for a couple more days. Methinks Brennan might just be warming up. Throughout the case, Finkelstein’s attorney has come up with some interesting legal arguments for his client’s innocence, including during a pretrial hearing, when he said, when referring to his client’s questionable moral character, “You can be a slut; that’s not illegal.”
Awesome. This Brennan guy deserves his own daytime show. Imagine the possibilities.
Sex-for-tickets case expected to conclude today [The Philadelphia Inquirer]
Lawyer for ‘sex for World Series tickets’ gal busts out the little-used ‘my client is a slut’ defense [Out of Bounds]