Sportress of Blogitude


Mike Lupica Refusing To Ride Tiger Woods’ Baloney Pony Any Longer

If there is one thing you can say about Lupica, also known around these parts as the Sniveling Scribe of Sanctimony, it’s that he’s as predictable as the rising sun. You can always count on him to put things in their proper perspective, albeit in his case, it is always in an arrogant and self-righteous manner. Today was no different, because as expected, Lupica has had just about enough of Tiger Woods manipulation of the media. The media should be doing the manipulating, dammit!

Here are some highlights from “Tiger tees off with baloney in interviews” (hence, the “baloney pony” reference above – mainly due to the juxtaposition of Lupica’s annoying visage in such close proximity to Tiger’s Cavalcade of  Concubines, almost like if he could he would jump up and be included with them), because I know you have far better (and perhaps even more enjoyable) things to do than read another holier-than-thou Lupica column. Like watching paint dry or showing up early at the proctologist’s office for that invasive rectal exam you have been putting off. Hey, it’s still better than reading Lupica, right?

Really, what we got Sunday from Woods was more scripted soul-searching. This is how sports agents and crisis managers imagine speaking from the heart, but only in the abstract. It is somewhat the same way when they imagine sincerity. They think we’re all as easy as the other women in Woods’ (former) life.

Lupica Zinger No. 1. Nice. Now, are the women in Woods’ (former) life easier than Sunday morning? Because that’s the only point of reference I have for easiness.

And now we find out that some of his problems with women, recorded by at least one of them with text messages that make the movie “American Pie” look sophisticated and high-minded, were that he got away from religion.

Lupica Zinger No. 2. An American Pie reference. How 1999 of him. He must not have seen National Lampoon’s Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj.

It pretty much trails off into more highfalutin moralizing from that point on. Certainly not worth your time. Remember, you do have that proctologist’s appointment.

Tiger Tees off with baloney [New York Daily News]