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Today In Creepy NFL Coachspeak: Brad Childress

During his tenure as Minnesota Vikings head coach, Brad Childress has become known as something of a wordsmith. Sure, in some instances, it’s a disturbing and nonsensical variety of wordsmith-ery, but he’s usually a good quote, which considering the dry, humorless demeanor he presented when he first arrived in Minnesota, has helped him come across as a borderline-endearing personality.

And then there are other times when Childress goes a little too far with his analogies and you are left sufficiently creeped out with how he tries too hard to articulate something. I am talking so creeped out and disturbed that you feel the need to take a shower while paging through The Yale Book of Quotations for some mental cleansing afterward.

The big Vikings-related news here in the Twin Cities is the team’s pursuit of free agent running back LaDainian Tomlinson. By all accounts, it appears to be a done deal, but Childress was in rare form yesterday while explaining to St. Paul Pioneer Press columnist Bob Sansavere just what occurred when he and Tomlinson had a meet and greet over a meal yesterday in the Twin Cities.

“I think probably he’s coming in, touching and tasting us, and we’re doing the same thing to see where his mind is at.”

Wait, what? Touching and tasting? What does that even mean? I cannot see why someone would ever dream of going with “touching and tasting” as a means to explain how a “getting to know you” process goes.

Childress says he’s all about clarity in defining a role for Tomlinson [St. Paul Pioneer Press]
Thankfully, Brad Childress doesn’t have to sing for his supper [Out of Bounds]