This Just In: Smoking Dope Makes You Run Fast
Granted, I am not what one considers “learned” in the scientific method, but that is the only conclusion I can come to after Ivory Williams, an American sprinter withdrew from the IIAF Championships this weekend in Qatar after testing positive for marijuana. Williams was a favorite in the 60 meters and not only will he be able to compete this weekend, but his victory in the event at the U.S. Championships will also be taken away.
Ray Flynn, the sprinter’s manager, believes the positive result was from a test during the U.S. Championships.
“It is unfortunate,” Flynn said. “It was poor judgment and he acknowledges that and to my knowledge has accepted the A sample (as positive).”
Weed, huh? Interesting. I am all for getting rid of performance-enhancing drugs in athletic competition, but can marijuana technically be described as such? Not that every person that smokes grass fulfills the stereotype of the lazy dude sitting on the couch watching cartoons and eating Doritos, but I imagine after smoking a bowl, Williams probably wasn’t terribly pumped up to race – it is much more likely he would have preferred to just, um, sit on the couch, watch cartoons and eat Doritos.
Man, I wish I was home right now.
Williams tests positive for marijuana [Reuters]