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Wake N’ Blog For March 9th: Kinky? Nope – Drunk Lactating Lady Squirts Breast Milk On Deputy After Arrest

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, complaints, threats, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• A woman in custody for public intoxication has been accused of assaulting a female deputy by squirting breast milk in her face. Yep. [MSNBC/AP]

• Versus believes Steven Stamkos is Corey Perry, then spells his name wrong. Versus! [Puck Daddy]

• The Keith Olbermann-Bill Simmons war of words is getting out of hand, but remains awesome. [Deadspin]

• Jonah Hill is rumored to be the actor who will portray Paul DePodesta in Moneyball. [FirstCuts]

• Muhammad Ali dropped in on the Padres camp. [Big League Stew]

• BC is not a fan of Dan LeBatard. [Busted Coverage]

• Brooklyn Decker is too sexy to be on an airplane? [Hotties in Cleats]

• Fred Couples will likely end up as the greatest Champions Tour player ever. At least until I join it in 20 years. It could happen. [Devil Ball Golf]

• More on Mark Calcavecchia’s comments regarding Tiger’s cell phone number changes. [Out of Bounds]

• If you haven’t seen Jonas Gutierrez’s Spider-Man goal celebration yet, here it is. [Outside the Boxscore]

• A reference to Kakfa’s The Metamorphosis in a “Better Know A Draft Pick” post? Excellent. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Disabled Athlete Likes It When Opponents Go Easy On Him