Tonight, We Invade Canada
If we were ever to invade the great country of Canada, take over and seize all of their precious natural resources, tonight is the night. The timing could not be better, as all six Canadian NHL teams are in action tonight. As we have all learned from a lifetime of xenophobia and from reading Rick Reilly’s moronic columns on the Winter Olympics, there is little else to do north of the border other than watch hockey. Therefore, as Canada’s residents are all glued to their television sets, we could move in with minimal resistance.
Of course, I’m not saying we should invade Canada, I’m just saying that if we ever were to invade Canada, we should do it this evening.
ALL SIX CANADIAN NHL TEAMS IN ACTION TONIGHT [TSN]