Sportress of Blogitude

The Week That Was In ‘Tracking Ozzie’s Twitter’: Happy Anniversary, Baby

Ozzie’s got you on his mind….

And don’t give me that look. The Little River Band is as hip today as they were in 1983, which I guess is not saying much, but that’s a topic of discussion for another time.

Overall, it was All Quiet on the Twitter Front in Ozzieland this week. Hopefully, this is not an indication that Guillen is already growing tired of Twitter, because that would be sad. I’m looking forward to John Daly-esque meltdowns this upcoming season.

Perishing that thought, let’s take a look at the Life and Times of Ozzie Guillen, shall we?

Before we get to the highlights of the week, the above tweet brings up an interesting thought: just what is it like to be a member of Ozzie’s family, in particular his wife?

More often than not, the folks that one would assume would be horsehit spouses because of how they carry themselves publicly are usually the exact opposite behind closed doors. It is often the case that those individuals who appear to be jerks to people outside of their inner circle are frequently very devoted and loving to their family. I assume that to be the case with Ozzie. Sure, he’s a firecracker with a a knee-jerk, off-the-cuff, impulsive public persona, but I imagine he is a teddy bear with his wife and kids. On the flip side, there’s Joe Torre. Now there’s a guy you just know slaps his wife around from time to time.  Or not.

As mentioned above, there wasn’t much going on with Ozzie Twitter-wise this week, but here are the best of them:

And if Ozzie says the Wigwam Golf Resort & Spa is really nice, that’s good enough for me. Heeding his advice, I checked out the website myself and I have to tell you, it sounds prettay, prettay good.

Nearly 80 years of history makes our resort an authority on the standards of service excellence. Simple, understated elegance and luxury is what we provide and indigenous charm is what sets us apart. Our guests are surrounded by the quiet, natural beauty of the desert Southwest, resulting in a truly unique, authentic experience. No towering skyscrapers or high rise-style accommodations here. The only interruptions are towering palm trees and soaring clouds that dot the clear blue skies.

Sounds wonderful. If I hadn’t maxed out all of my credit cards ordering Dick Vitale Fatheads for my friends and family, I’d book a relaxing weekend there in an instant.

Retailing for $149.00 on the low end, they better be nice sunglasses, Ozzie! Sure, they are not BluBlockers or those fancy new HD Vision sunglasses

I’m sorry, since I mentioned them I just have to address these abominations. Have you seen the commercial for these ripoffs?

Give me a break. First of all, I don’t even think there is such a thing as “high definition” vision. Secondly, they sell them for $19.99, for Pete’s sake. Although I have heard that hockey is much more entertaining on television while wearing these, so who knows?

Back to the Costa Del Mar shades. Once again, I have listened to Ozzie’s advice and went and perused the available styles of sunglasses, and if I may, I have a few suggestions for the models I think would fit Ozzie best.

My personal favorites are the Checcas:

The Blackfins aren’t bad either:

Followed by the Chocos. Now these are stylin’:

But if I were to go with a sentimental favorite simply on their name alone, it would be the DRAAAAAGOOOOOOS!

The worst thing about these particular shades? They will break you – in the wallet, that is.

(The above riff on sunglasses has been brought to you by The Sunglass Hut at your local mall. Just go in and least talk to the lonely clerk, will ya? The guy is bored…and miserable.)

Not familiar with that game. Must be one of those new card games the kids are playing.

It has been noted that, due to the what we’ll refer to as a “unique” style in his tweets, Ozzie may not have the most firm grasp of the English language, hence the jumbled, sometimes nonsensical, ramblings. I beg to differ. I choose to believe that he is simply a horrible at text messaging.

Finally, a clear, concise tweet from Ozzie that for what it lacks in substance, makes up for in, well, something.

Indeed, Ozzie. Indeed.

OzzieGuillen [Twitter]