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Wake N’ Blog For March 4th: Goat That Led Authorities On Thirty-Minute Chase Needs A Few Lashings With The Hickory Stick

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Four out of five dentists recommend it plaque-fighting abilities. The fifth dentist won’t say anything until you guys being sending me more tips at weedagainstspeed@gmail.com. You have your orders.

• It took thirty minutes for police and animal control personnel to corral a runaway goat first seen wandering through a Taco Bell parking lot in Odessa, Texas. This is why you should never let your goat stray far from the pickup truck which it is tied to with a three-foot piece of rope, no matter how soft the grass might be. [MSNBC/AP]

• Now this is interesting: a report indicates that Mike Tyson may be returning to the ring late this year. [You Been Blinded]

• If you want to know how NHL teams fared at the trading deadline, you always go to the authority on these matters. [Puck Daddy]

• Brilliance from Butter Chicken: “Facebook Updates That Make Me Want To Punch My So-Called Friends In The Face – Part Two” [Food Court Lunch]

• Former Florida Gators high jumper is now a competitive bodybuilder, also pretty smokin’. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

• Hank Baskett IV is probably the youngest person to ever tour the Playboy Mansion. [Out of Bounds]

• A charity sled dog race where the dogs are the mushers and the people pull the sleds. Genius! [The Sporting Blog]

• The Top 10 signs fantasy baseball is becoming too popular. [Five Tool Tool]

• KSK’s “Better Know A Draft Pick” feature is kicking into high gear. Here’s Jimmy Clausen’s profile. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• John Wall replicated Derrick Rose’s legendary high school dunk. [Tremendous Upside Potential]

• Here’s that funny “Save A Baseball Free Agent” public service announcement. [Outside the Boxscore]

• Taking another look at Michael Vick’s moronic statement on why he would like to play with the Carolina Panthers. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

• News story of the year? News story of the year. [Warming Glow]

• The video game Space Invaders is going to be a movie? Wha? [FilmDrunk]

• It’s truly amazing that the self-lighting cigarette never caught on. [Uncoached]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Google Responds To Privacy Concerns With Unsettlingly Specific Apology