Everybody Start Feeling Bad For TMZ Starting…Now!
Boo-hoo. Poor, poor TMZ. When will the fledgling organization ever catch a break? When you think about all the good works performed by Harvey Levin and his ham-fisted battalions of snooping, prying, privacy-violating carrion mercenaries, one has to wonder when all the good karma accumulated by TMZ will begin to finally pay off for them.
You see, the folks at TMZ are crying foul over the fact that one of the most eagerly-anticipated photos in recent memory, the one in which Tiger Woods is jogging, was simply released to Getty Images, thereby rendering the value of the photo to next to nothing for those who would have happily done nearly anything for the EXCLUSIVE shot. The nerve!
But when the image was released through Getty Images — a non-paparazzi, subscription-based photo agency — the value of the photo plummeted … as most major media outlets got the pic essentially for free as part of their deal with Getty.
TMZ has checked around with some major paparazzi agencies, who tell us the first picture of Tiger could have scored them more than $1,000,000 in worldwide distribution profits.
Dear God! What is wrong with this crazy, mixed-up world? Don’t they realize that they are taking food right out of the mouths of the children of these noble warriors, who want nothing else but to make an embarrassing spectacle out of the personal lives of people far more successful and talented then they could ever dream to be? Someone should organize a telethon for these poor souls.
And do you know what else? There’s more to this troubling tale. It appears that Getty Images and the PGA are in cahoots! Cahoots, I tell you!
FYI — Just 24 days before the shot was taken, Getty had announced a “multi-year” deal with the PGA, in which both sides touted the move as a “strategic partnership.” Turns out, they were right.
We called Getty for comment — but they’re on lockdown.
FYI, indeed. And an OMG for good measure, if I may. What is most shocking is the diabolical madness of both of these organizations. This ruse perpetuated by the powers-that-be in the PGA and Getty has been in the works for twenty-four days. Can you even begin to fathom the twisted patience and sadistic manner in which these companies can operate? No one is safe from their reign of terror. Before you know it, the only means through which people employed by agencies like TMZ will be able to provide for themselves is to do despicable things like digging through the garbage cans of those they greedily pursue without conscience or sense of decency.
Wait. They already do that. Whatever. I guess they just might have to stoop even lower if deplorable actions such as what just happened continue to be perpetrated by the likes of the PGA and Getty Images – about as sinister as well-respected, well-run organizations can get.
In all seriousness, get over it, TMZ. Another payday for you and your kind is just around the corner. Somebody famous is bound to screw up soon enough.
Tiger Woods Screws the Paparazzi [TMZ]