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PGA Golf

OMG! Tiger Woods Press Conference, Y’all!

Tiger Woods will finally resurface in public Friday at a press conference scheduled to be held at 11:00 a.m. in the clubhouse of TPC Sawgrass. This will be the first time in three months since a minor car accident turned into…well, whatever the hell it is now. A kerfuffle?

“This is all about the next step,” Mark Steinberg, his agent, told The Associated Press. “He’s looking forward to it.”

Steinberg said he would speak to a “small group of friends, colleagues and close associates” about his past and what he plans next, along with apologizing for his behavior.

He said three wire services would be invited, and he was asking the Golf Writers Association of America to pick a small group of reporters to serve as a pool. Steinberg said there would be one pool camera, but it would be available live via satellite.

As far as apologies go, this one should be a doozy to say the least. What I wonder is if Tiger’s handlers are researching how other celebrities handled their public apologies to determine what way Woods should go about his. I would suggest the tearful “I have sinned” method perfectly orchestrated by televangelist Jimmy Swaggart after he was caught cavorting with whores. Alternatively, he could also go the Ashlee Simpson after the Saturday Night Live debacle route and blame all his hardcore sex romps on acid reflux disease. Hey, don’t go poo-pooing it. Have you ever had acid reflux? It’s friggin’ debilitating. It can make a man do crazy, crazy things.

Eh, I suppose it’s really up them. In the end, maybe Tiger should just stand there and flex his biceps. Can’t argue with that, man.

Tiger to hold news conference Friday [Yahoo!/AP]