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Wake N’ Blog For February 12th: You Can’t Even Try To Buy Clean Urine At Elementary Schools These Days

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips and whatnot to Thankee.

• An 18-year-old California man was arrested on Monday after surveillance video caught him sneaking into the boys restroom at Pacific Elementary School and offered two students cash for them to pee in a cup. Authorities suspect the man was trying to secure clean urine for piss test. I suppose this story could have been worse, but still, that ain’t right. [MSNBC/AP]

• The National Enquirer is reporting that Tiger Woods thought sex rehab was “a joke.” Do you know what isn’t funny? Blue balls.  [Out of Bounds]

• It’s never a good Super Bowl party when one guest leaves with punctured testicles. Hoo boy. [Shutdown Corner]

• The Los Angeles Temptation won the Lingerie Football League last Sunday. Do you know what else they won? Our hearts. Okay, our genitals. But they don’t get to keep them, of course. [With Leather]

• The Peacock doesn’t care about hockey players. NBC is airing ice dancing instead of the USA/Canada hockey game on February 21st. The hockey game will be broadcast on MSNBC. Why NBC? Why do you gotta play us like that? [Puck Daddy]

After the jump, a  sublime headline from the folks at The Onion, nobody is going to PGA Tour events, annoying Saints fans and a little kid nearly getting maimed at a hockey game. Woo!

• Time of another edition of KSK’s Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag! Enjoy the awkwardness! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Saints fans are officially getting dangerously close to annoying territory. [The Sports Hernia]

• No one is showing up for PGA Golf events. I wonder why… [Devil Ball Golf]

• Cool-ass snowman. [The700Level]

• At least at this Olympics, we’re not drug cheats. USA! USA! USA! [Bootlegger Sports]

• There are over 20,000 items currently on eBay tagged “New Orleans Saints.” [Joe Sports Fan]

• Ouch. Because of a bet between the governors of Indiana and Louisiana, the Saints flag is going to fly at the Indiana State Capitol. [Pro Football Talk]

• Video of Daniel Tosh destroying an iPad. [Warming Glow]

The Onion Headline of the Day: “20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine’s Day” Awesome. [The Onion]

• Some kid had a section of glass fall on him during a Blackhawks-Stars hockey game. It’s alright, he got a hockey stick out of it. And possibly brain damage.  [H/T Total Pro Sports]