Sportress of Blogitude

Catch-All Category

Wake N’ Blog For February 5th: To Win Back Boyfriend, Desperate Woman Desires Surgery To Look More Like Jessica Alba

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. I play my music loud because you know it’s got clout to it. It’s a trip it’s got a funky beat and I can bug out to it.

The girl is already completely devoid of talent, so she’s already halfway there, in a way. A 21-year-old Chinese woman who only gave her name as Xiaoqing is willing to go through plastic surgery to make her look more like the starlet just so she can get back her douchebag 28-year-old boyfriend, who is totally obsessed with Alba. “When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was very sad,” she told Reuters at the Shanghai Time Plastic Surgery Hospital which has agreed to help her fulfill her wish. “My friends… kept consoling me but it did not work, so they suggested I do plastic surgery to look like her (Jessica Alba).” Jeez, with friends like that, who needs radical plastic surgery?

Photo of the poor gal after the jump.

I don’t know, she’s not too bad as it is. I say ditch the zero and get with a hero. She already has no self-esteem, so that part is already taken care of. Any takers? [Yahoo!/Reuters]

• Yeah, this isn’t wrong at all: 13-year-old quarterback commits to Lane Kiffin and USC. By the time this kid is ready to go to college, Kiffin will be at his fourth coaching job after USC. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Reports are that Tiger Woods is all done with sex rehab. First stop: convenience store for a five-pound bag of ice. You guys know what I’m talking about. [Out of Bounds]

• Roller derby is red hot right now in Britain. The only thing hotter? Antiquated dentistry methods. [The Guardian]

• Congratulations to Cris Collinsworth for winning the Pat Summerall Award. Rumor has it Collinsworth is going to celebrate by acting even more annoying than usual. [Awful Announcing]

• A photo gallery of hilarious Wi-Fi network names. My favorite one is “my neighbors suck.” Well played. [Uncoached]

• Talks between Phil Mickelson and Waffle House have reportedly broken down, much like the condition of every Waffle House I have been to. Still, there food is awesome if you don’t mind feeling like your eating breakfast in a bathroom stall. [Devil Ball Golf]

• More on that West Virginia ruckus from the other night. That’s right, I just called everyone from West Virginia a moron. Sort of. [Bootlegger Sports]

• Wait, Wink Martindale is alive? He better be, because he is set to host a new game show on GSN. If he’s dead, that will make this even more watchable. [TV Squad]

• Hey, who out there wants Barry Sanders at your Super Bowl party? [Pro Football Talk]

• Apparently, the Weather Channel has lifted its embargo on Hurricane Katrina jokes. This won’t end well. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• The Pope sent his well-wishes for a peaceful Olympics. I guess that’s something. [Sporting News/AP]

• Breaking down the odds of a cow making it to the Super Bowl. Intrigued? You should be. [Last Angry Fan]

• Head on over to Uff’s blog to check out the first promo for Louis C.K.’s new show on FX. Why? Because I said so and it will make you a better person. [Warming Glow]

• Finally, Angry Grandmas, anyone? 30 Helens agree that these seniors are the cat’s pajamas. [H/T With Leather]

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