Sportress of Blogitude


Dan Patrick Got His ‘Man Cave’ Worked Over And He Loved It

Wait, what?

Alright, alright. That doesn’t mean what you think it means. What really happened is that Dan Patrick was fortuitous enough to have the gang from DIY Network’s hit show, Man Caves, customize and trick-out his studio space. The episode will air on DIY at 9:00 p.m. Eastern on Friday.

For those of you unfamiliar with the show Man Caves or the concept behind it, here is a primer:

Because DIY Network understands there’s an environment for every guy that makes him feel fulfilled, we recruited licensed contractor Jason Cameron and former NFL great Tony “The Goose” Siragusa to offer amazing ideas for the ultimate Man Caves. In each episode of this awesome DIY Network series, Jason and The Goose create a man cave solely for one lucky guy, plus offer ideas and expert do-it-yourself instruction to help homeowners everywhere construct their own personal hangouts.

So, you get a brand new, man-friendly space and get to hang out with Tony Siragusa, too? Bonus!

Since the crew knew that they were dealing with a big-time celebrity like Dan Patrick, they spared no expense when creating his Man Cave.

Hosts Tony “Goose” Siragusa and contractor Jason Cameron customized a studio for Patrick to broadcast his syndicated 9 a.m.-noon sports talk show on WCKY-AM (1530). DIY says it “includes a full-size basketball court emblazoned with a Dan Patrick logo; a golf simulator to help Patrick improve his handicap; a sports ticker, scoreboard and flat screen TVs for up-to-the-minute sports highlights; a custom built bar and booth seating; a rotating Emmy display case dubbed by Cameron and Siragusa as the first-ever man cave “Emmy Launcher”; and a brand-new desk built by Cameron to meet the former ESPN correspondent’s specifications.”

The sports broadcasting area, and a second room with a kitchen and bar, has a traditional look complete with reclaimed brick and New England wainscoting.

Bad ass. And if anyone deserves such top-notch amenities, it’s Dan Patrick, that sanctimonious asshole. And another thing, I’m not sure how Man Caves works exactly and whether or not the renovation has to be paid for by the person or if the show pays for it, but if Patrick didn’t have to foot the bill for this, that’s plain wrong. The guy has the money and the fact that this will only serve to feed his already-massive ego is incredibly irritating.

I’m just messing around with all this Dan Patrick Haterade. I have learned from experience that even daring to poke fun at Dan Patrick results in ham-fisted mouth-breathers coming out of the woodwork to defend their hero. Here are some examples of people taking this all too seriously from posts I have previously written about Patrick:

August 11th, 2009 at 12:31 am

WOW, and this is why the sports blogosphere gets a bad name. Unwarranted, ill-conceived vitriol. Clap clap clap.

August 13th, 2009 at 5:02 pm

Wow, this is certainly blogworthy. I guess a dumb bitch like yourself is having a slow news day when you pick a respected journalist who likes to have fun on his show.

February 3rd, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Your blog fucking sucks, do us all a favor and forget to pay your hosting bill.


January 20th, 2010 at 9:05 am

Suck a dick, DP is more popular than you and you’re jealous. Nice Microsoft Word word-art header by the way. That looks official.

So yeah, I’m essentially baiting morons to get all pissy about me daring to criticize the untouchable Dan Patrick. People needlessly overreacting to something I wrote is one of the perks of writing. But I will tell you this: go ahead and disagree with my opinions and tell me that I fucking suck, but if you think for one minute that I will stand idly by and allow you to criticize twoeightnine’s brilliant handiwork on my blog header, you have another thing coming, sir.

So to you, Michael, I respond with this: go eat shit, you ignorant pissant. You wouldn’t know a good blog header if it slapped the dick out of your mouth, if that were in fact possible.

A Peek Inside Dan Patrick’s New Man Cave [The Cincinnati Enquirer]