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Finally, John Mayer Has Come Forward To Put The Whole Tiger Woods Mess In Perspective


You know how it is when you are having difficulty coming to terms with how you feel about something but then someone comes along and articulates it perfectly? Up until today, that was me. I was having great difficulty trying to figure out how I truly felt about the Tiger Woods fiasco and have struggled to ascertain what was the meaning behind it all at its essence. Thankfully, there are people like John Mayer in the world.

You see, the brooding, deep and some might call talented musician, provided his thoughts on Tiger Woods by the British newspaper The Independent, although I cannot tell if he was asked to or not. Mayer, who has frequently been the subject of tabloid fodder himself  due to his high-profile romances with Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jennifer Aniston (he must really girls with “J” names), among others, offers this up as the main reason why Tiger’s infidelities have set off a media firestorm that shows no signs of cooling off:

Tiger Woods’ problems come from him being married. The end.

Okay, let me get this straight: the reason the infidelity and text messages are so controversial is because he was married to his wife? You know what? That’s so crazy – and obvious – it might be true! Okay, now I get it. Work with me here: if he hadn’t been married to his wife when he was having sex with and text messaging all those women, he wouldn’t have been cheating on his wife because she wouldn’t have been his wife and you can’t cheat on someone unless you are involved with them. Brilliant! Thanks, John Mayer!

Mayer explains:

It has nothing to do with control. If Tiger Woods was a single guy, what sort of angle would there be to a text message? If Tiger Woods was single, and he texted a girl and said ‘I wanna wear your ass like a hat’, why would that ever hit the news?

Exactly, John. I suppose if he had been single and sending  dirty text messages to various women, there wouldn’t so much controversy surrounding it.

But here’s the rub, John: Tiger Woods is married. Therefore, the fact that Tiger Woods was sending dirty text messages to a bunch of woman is the problem, not the text messages in and of themselves.

Asshat. Here’s a suggestion, John Mayer: instead of trying to blow our minds with your keen insight regarding today’s hot button topics, stick to doing what you do best – writing vanilla pop songs that appeal to 14-year-old girls.

At the same time, the guy pulls an incredible amount of Grade-A tail. I’ll give him that. And isn’t that what is really most important?

John Mayer: ‘Tiger Woods’ problems come from him being married’ [New York Daily News]
This charming man: Who is the real John Mayer? [The Independent]