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YEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Danica Patrick Set To Appear On ‘CSI: NY’

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What’s the deal with all the professional athletes making cameos on shows of the CSI franchise lately? Just a few weeks ago, Rocco Mediate, Natalie Gulbis and Duffy Waldorf portrayed themselves on an episode of CSI (the original one) and now comes word that Danica Patrick will guest star on an episode of CSI: NY set to air February 10th. Patrick portrays the rival of a racing star who dies under – DUH DUH DUHHHHH – suspicious circumstances.

Antonio Sabato Jr. plays the racing great who dies in a car explosion on the streets of Manhattan two days before a race as the result of car tampering.

Well, I’m sold – partially. It would have been far more intriguing if Danica herself had played the murder victim. Here’s the plot: racing star/celebrity spokeswoman is found dead in her car on a deserted highway with a the outer clothing of a buxom female police officer shoved down her throat.

Chilling.

I am somewhat disappointed that Patrick will be on CSI: NY, the lamest show of the franchise. It would have been far better for her to appear on CSI: Miami. That way, we could have at least enjoyed a patented Horatio Caine one-liner. Below are a few I came up with off the top of my head:

Duquesne: Not pretty, Horatio. She was about to be the next big thing in auto racing, but it appears she was snuffed out by a jealous rival.

Horatio: You know what they say…

(takes off sunglasses)

Horatio: Rubbin’s racin’…

(puts on sunglasses)

Horatio: But snuffin’s bluffin’.

Duquesne: What in the hell are you talking about?

(takes off sunglasses)

Horatio: I’ll tell you what I’m talking about…

(puts on sunglasses)

Horatio: Vroom vroom.

(puts on sunglasses)

YEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

No good? How about this one?

Delko: Our victim appears to be in her mid-to-late 20s. No telling how long she’s been out here. Hours, at least.

Horatio: Either way, out here in the blinding light of the sun…

(puts on sunglasses)

Horatio: The truth can’t hide…

(takes off sunglasses, puts them back on right away)

Horatio: Maybe Go Daddy doesn’t know best…

YEEAAAAHHHHHH!!

Alright, that one sucked, too, but you can see where some Hollywood hotshot could go with this.

Danica Patrick to appear on ‘CSI: NY’ [Sporting News/AP]
Rocco, Duffy, Natalie knock ’em dead on CSI [Devil Ball Golf]