Sportress of Blogitude

Police Blotter

Anna Kournikova’s Mom Charged With Child Neglect


If the charges are accurate, it really makes you wonder how Anna turned out to be such a successful person. At the same time, I guess being a international sex symbol has little to do with the parenting skills of those who raised you. In fact, a crappy childhood may actually help expedite said transformation into being known solely for good looks and killer body, but I digress.

Alla Kournikova, the 46-year-old mother of “professional tennis player” Anna, was arrested and booked on charges of third degree felony for child neglect after she left her five-year-old son Allan (Anna’s half-brother) home alone as she ran errands. While home alone, little Allan jumped out of second story window, landed on some rocks and was discovered by neighbors “crying, screaming and bleeding.” Yowsers.

Allan was just featured in an article about his golfing talent. In the article his mother said she wants him to be occupied and he has a lot of energy.

Allan was alone at the time of the incident while his mother ran errands.

The child suffered bruising to his feet and lower back as a result of the fall from the second floor, according to a police report.

I think the last thing Mama Kournikova needs is another athlete prodigy. It just doesn’t appear she has the ability to nurture young talent and maximize it for success. If the pattern remains the same, by the time he’s in his early 20s, Allan’s golfing career will be all but finished and he’ll find himself shacking up with some washed-up, Latin-American pop singer.

In all seriousness, nine times out of ten, leaving a five-year-old home alone only leads to slapstick shenanigans. Sure, if little Allan would have foiled a burglary attempt at his home, we would have all found it hilarious. Okay, maybe not hilarious, but Daniel Stern and Catherine O’Hara really could use the work.

Alla Kournikova’s mug shot:

Alla Kournikova

Yeesh. You know how they say if you want to know how a woman will one day look, take a gander at her mother? If that’s the case, Anna better maximize her, ahem, talents, and start making straight-to-video softcore porn immediately. Just sayin’.

Anna Kournikova’s mom arrested for child neglect [WPTV-5]