So Long, LandShark Stadium, Go Have A Daiquiri
You know, like that song by Jimmy Buffett, “Daiquriville”? Or is it “Pina Colada Township”? Shit, I don’t remember.
Sad news for fans of stadiums named after shitty beers pimped by ’70s gimmicky island-pop singers. That’s right. As of Wednesday of this week, LandShark Stadium, a/k/a Dolphin Stadium in Miami, is no more. You may recall that last May, an agreement was reached between Dolphins ownership at the makers of LandMark Lager, an alcoholic beverage bottled by one of crooner Jimmy Buffett’s businesses, to have the home field named LandShark Stadium.
Unfortunately, LandShark’s naming rights ended on January 5th after the Orange Bowl. So, who is the next company to win the rights to be the next sponsor of Dolphin Stadium, you ask?
Sun Life Financial. Wow. Now that’s a company that inspires confidence and will strike fear into the hearts of all opponents who dare enter the hallowed stadium.
The name change will happen before the Jan. 31 Pro Bowl and Feb. 7 Super Bowl. The five-year deal reportedly averages out to $7.5 million annually.
Select Dolphins fans have been invited to attend the announcement and a musical performance on stadium grounds at 10 a.m. Wednesday. Sun Life has been trying to increase its name recognition in the United States through an aggressive advertising campaign over the past few months.
This will mark the facility’s seventh name since it opened in 1987. The other names, in order: Joe Robbie Stadium, Pro Player Park, Pro Player Stadium, Dolphins Stadium, Dolphin Stadium and LandShark Stadium.
A musical performance? Sah-weet! I would imagine Jimmy Buffett will not be the guest performer, so I have no idea who it could be. Perhaps one of the 450 minority owners, including Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, will put on an impromptu performance, but I hope not. Dolphins fans have been through enough this past season already.
Nevertheless, you have to question the wisdom of having your stadium named after a financial company during this troubling economic times. To make it worse, Sun Life is a goddamn Canuckistani company? Lame.
I’m not trying to tell the Dolphins how to go about their business – actually I am – but even Sun Chips Stadium would have been a preferable moniker, and those dry, tasteless things that masquerade as snack food taste like total ass.
Dolphin Stadium officially becomes Sun Life Stadium on Wednesday [Miami Herald]