Coaches For Austrian Ski Team Insinuate That Lindsey Vonn Is A Fatty Fatty Boombalatty
American downhill skiing sensation Lindsey Vonn, fresh off becoming the first American skier ever to win races on three straight days (it was last accomplished by a female skier in 1997), had some harsh words for the coaches of the Austrian ski team, who reportedly stated that Vonn is a little thick in the britches, to put it in the parlance of our times.
In a special column for The Denver Post, Vonn fired back at the Austrian coaches after comments attributed to them were reported in newspapers regarding how her size gives her an unfair advantage.
It started with Herbert Mandl, the Austrian women’s head coach, comparing me to his girls. They’re all like 5-foot-4, 5-foot-6, really small girls. I’m 5-10. I think journalists might have sensationalized his comments, but at the same time the comparison was made that I’m a bigger, heavier girl and that’s why they’re not succeeding.
The long-dead English poet William Congreve wrote that “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” which is definitely a fitting line for this situation. Better yet, Hell hath no fury like a woman who was just called a porker by some Austrian twits. Vonn continues:
It’s frustrating as an athlete to be called overweight in any way. There definitely are girls on the circuit they could be pointing at, but not me. I pride myself on how hard I work out and how physically fit I am. For them to say that was extremely aggravating.
I use things like that to push myself harder, so I went out and swept three races — two downhills and a super-G.
MEOW! Here’s a tip for anyone else who think it’s a good idea to try getting in the head of Miss Vonn by talking smack: it might be wise to just keep your mouth shut. Vonn is like The Incredible Hulk of downhill skiing in that you don’t want to make her angry – you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.
No word on whether she also has a penchant for busting out of her clothes during her fits of rage, though, which would be kind of cool when you think about it.
Shaking Injury, Vonn Wins Third in Three Days [The New York Times]
Vonn: Overweight? You have got to be kidding [The Denver Post]