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Tennis Pro Richard Gasquet’s ‘Cocaine Kiss’ Defense Actually Worked!

richard gasquet

Who woulda thunk it? Richard Gasquet, the 52nd ranked tennis player in the world, has been exonerated of any wrongdoing in connection to a drug test he failed last May that showed traces of benzoylecgonine, a metabolite of cocaine. Gasquet argued that he had not used cocaine and the positive test was a result of kissing some floozy in a nightclub.

The Court of Arbitration for Sport rejected an appeal from the International Tennis Federation (IFT) and World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA). Both organizations were requesting at least a one-year ban for Gasquet.

“On a balance of probability, the CAS panel concluded that it was more likely than not that the player’s contamination with cocaine resulted, as Gasquet always asserted, from kissing a woman in a nightclub in Miami on the day before the anti-doping test and that the player had met the required standards of proof with respect to the way of ingestion.”

Brilliant!

Not surprisingly, Gasquet is very happy regarding the outcome.

“I am totally relieved,” Gasquet told French television channel Canal Plus. “It was a crazy story and I went through a nightmare for eight months.

“I thought I had more chances to win grand slams, to beat (Rafael) Nadal at Roland-Garros and (Roger) Federer at Wimbledon than to be tested positive,” he added.

He thought he could have beaten Nadal and Federer? Come on. Maybe he wasn’t snorting coke, but he had to been on some opiates that artificially inflate a person’s sense of self or something. Is there such a drug called hubristacy?

Well played, Gasquet. Well played. I have but one question: how much friggin’ blow did this lady have on her lips for a person that just kissed her to fail a piss test? Did she look like she just ate a powdered doughnut or something? All I know is Gasquet probably couldn’t feel his teeth for a few minutes afterward, which for someone who has allegedly never used cocaine before, probably felt pretty odd.

In the end, I guess we should just believe him. It’s not like a person who has photos of himself behaving like this would ever think of using illicit drugs.

gasquet

Riiiiiight.

Gasquet cleared as kiss blamed for cocaine test [Reuters]