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If Only You Could Combat Childhood Obesity By Breaking Down Film

jaworski

ESPN analyst and Monday Night Football talking head Ron Jaworski appeared at a hearing in front of the House Energy and Commerce health subcommittee in Washington D.C. yesterday and stated that the extent to which the childhood obesity epidemic is currently plaguing this country is “startling.”

Jaworski is a longtime supporter of the United Way and continues to be very active with his Jaws Youth Fund program in New Jersey. Jaws was in D.C. to discuss his program and the NFL “Play 60” campaign, which encourages children to get at least one hour of activity a day.

“Gimme 60 minutes!” he said, making his points in the same animated way he dissects a blitz on TV. “I’m not saying take four hours a day, but find a way to get off the coach and gimme that 60 minutes.”

I believe that was meant to read “couch” not “coach” but you get the picture.

Unfortunately, like many problems he has dealt with during his life, Tony Kornheiser and the Arena Football League, for instance, Jaws cannot accomplish as much as he wishes to combat childhood obesity. You see, there is no film for him to break down in the NFL Films archives to find a way to best attack the problem. If childhood obesity were like, say, a two-deep zone or a 3-4 defense, Jaws would be able to figure out a way to exploit a weakness, and before you know it, fat little bastards eating Cheetos and playing Xbox all day would be a thing of the past.

But even without the ability for intense film study, Jaws knows that the solution should be as evident as audibling out of a running play when there are eight men in the box:

“It’s real simple: 60 minutes. It could be a walk in the park, it could be a ride on your bicycle. It does not have to be an organized team activity. … Be as creative as you want, but find a way to get your exercise in.”

Damn straight. Although if Jaws had brought along his cohort from the Monday Night Football booth, Jon Gruden, to back up what he was trying to articulate, I believe those two could have completely convinced the committee that the time to act is now. Here’s how it might have went:

Jaws: “The facts surrounding childhood obesity in this country are startling, Jon.”

Jon: “THIS GUY. This guy, JAWS, knows what he is talking about. THIS GUY knows how to BRING IT.

Jaws: “In 1989, I fought a proposal in New Jersey that would have stopped requiring gym classes in the public high schools. At that time, all the computer games were coming into play and the term ‘couch potato’ was coming into play. Kids weren’t getting activity. They need activity to be productive.’

Jon: “That’s right, Jaws. In order to be productive, you MUST PRODUCE. Activity is a requirement for being active. Now, when you want to FIGHT obesity, you HAVE GOT to get out there and exercise. If you don’t exercise, you CANNOT COMPETE against obesity. To be fit, a certain level of fitness is needed. Now THIS GUY, Jaws, now THIS GUY has what it takes. He is the ULTIMATE COMPETITOR in competitiveness in that he knows you have to COMPETE ALL THE TIME.”

TV sports star calls childhood obesity ‘startling’ [SI/AP]