Sportress of Blogitude


Mascot’s Plan To Attempt Dunk After Jumping On Exercise Ball Does Not Go Very Well

Mascot Internal Monologue:

My heart races. My pulse quickens. The anticipation is growing. The thousands of fans packed in the stands few people in the crowd barely paying attention cannot contain their excitement boredom any longer. This is why I became a mascot. I have them all wrapped around my finger – or paw – or whatever. The moment arrives.

I am so going to nail this dunk off the exercise ball. Then I will be famous. All this hard work is going to pay off. Working my way up the mascot ladder wasn’t easy, – all of the awkward stares on the bus, the birthday parties, those things I did in the parking lot of the mall and the dry cleaning bills – dear Lord the dry cleaning bills. All worth it. Say, are there mascot groupies? Of course there are. Here we GO!!


Surely, those in attendance will come to my aid. Make sure that I’m okay. Hello? Anybody? Why isn’t anyone even paying attention?

Screw this, man. I shoulda went to Clown College.

[H/T Last Angry Fan]