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Sports Columnist In Tampa Is Getting A Bit Surly Regarding The Bucs

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Fresh off another loss, this time being a 26-3 pasting by the New York Jets, it is safe to say that at 1-12, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are on their way to one of the worst seasons in their history, which is saying something considering the Bucs lost the first 26 games in the franchise’s history.

It’s not that I don’t pity him for having to suffer the indignity of being forced to watch and cover the gigantic pile of suck that is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers – according to Yahoo!, the top offensive performer for the Bucs was Kellen Winslow with 4 catches for 26 yards – but methinks Tampa Tribune columnist Martin Fennelly might have just gone off the deep end.

In his column published today, “Can’t bear to watch the Bucs’ final games? Just fill in the blanks,” Fennelly has essentially given up, and apparently he believes that fans shouldn’t be forced to suffer like he has to. After all, he does get paid while the fan is supposedly watching the Bucs games for enjoyment.

Fennelly explains:

Watching the final three games, of course, is out of the question. And the thought of actually going to the season finale at Raymond James Stadium against the Atlanta Falcons is, well, let’s just say that if anyone does show up, there’s a good chance they’ll be committed.

That’s where I come in.

I’ll watch the games, and you can just fill in the following form after each of my columns, circle the correct information, all so you’ll know what happened and can pretend you know what went wrong without the shame of having to admit you deserted the home team.

Just remember me in your wills.

What follows is the proposed fill-in-the-blanks column:

(SEATTLE/NEW ORLEANS/TAMPA) – It goes on.

It was another tough day for the Bucs.

They lost their (13th/14th/team-record 15th) game of the season Sunday, falling (38-10/27-13/19-13) to the (Seahawks/Saints/Falcons).

“We need to do better as (players/coaches/players and coaches),” Bucs head coach Raheem Morris said.

“All we can do is hang in there and finish off the season,” (Chris Hovan/Ronde Barber/Earnest Graham) said.

Once again, the Bucs (1-13/1-14/1-15) were done in by mistakes, including (two/three/five) more interceptions by rookie quarterback Josh Freeman, as well as a rushing game that produced only (43/69/13) yards.

There were also (first-half/second-half/game-long) defensive breakdowns.

Morris blamed (missed assignments/a bad Friday practice/ghosts) for some of the mistakes.

The Bucs appeared to be in the game early, but (Seattle/New Orleans/Atlanta) used the deep ball to (once/twice/three times) burn the Bucs’ secondary, with safety (Sabby Piscitelli/Sabby Piscitelli/Sabby Piscitelli) coming over late in coverage.

Yowsers. That’s some good stuff. Although I worry about Mr. Fennelly’s overall mental health. He seems a bit “off” now, can you imagine what he’ll be like after three more games? Jeepers.

Can’t bear to watch the Bucs’ final games? Just fill in the blanks [Tampa Tribune]