Male Russian Figure Skaters Are Badass
This seals it: Russians do everything better. From literature to hockey-playing bears, our former Cold War rivals just seem to do everything with a little more passion, a little more panache than we do. Case in point: drunk driving.
Russian figure skater Andrei Lutai was arrested Sunday in Lake Placid, New York for stealing a car and driving drunk. Lutai had been in Lake Placid for a Skate America competition, in which he placed 10th.
“The defendant was stopped operating a vehicle that had been reported stolen earlier in the evening,” said Lake Placid Assistant Police Chief William Moore. “The defendant was found to be driving while intoxicated.”
He said the vehicle Lutai is accused of taking had been parked behind a service station.
How awesome is that? Well, not the drunk driving part per se, but you see where I’m going with this – when a Russian man – a Russian man who is a figure skater, mind you, pulls these sort of shenanigans you have to wonder why our figure skaters don’t sink to this level of depravity. Brian Boitano, you have let your nation down.
Lutai has been charged with grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and aggravated driving while intoxicated and is currently being held in jail on $100,000 bail.
I don’t even know if funnyman Yakov Smirnoff could come up with a joke for this one. Who am I kidding? Of course he could – the guy is a comic genius and a global treasure.
Russian skater accused of stealing car, drunk driving [Reuters]