Last Call: ‘If I’m Ever Going To Providence, It Will Be In The Next Six Months’ Edition
The city of Providence, Rhode Island is abuzz with the news – as you can plainly see by the photo above taken earlier today – that the State Legislature has approved a measure that will allow bars in the city to remain open until 3:00 a.m. for a six month probationary period. Until now, closing time had been 2:00 a.m., but the city has experienced problems with a bunch of drunk asses all stumbling out of bars at the same time. How does keeping them open an additional hour help this problem?
During the trial period, bars and clubs will be allowed to remain open until 3 a.m. but will be prohibited from serving alcohol during the final hour and will also be prohibited from admitting any new patrons. Establishments that sell food will be able to sell food and non-alcoholic beverages during the final hour to late-leaving customers.
Wait. What? Why would I stay at a bar if I’m not allowed to drink? For food? Isn’t hungry, drunk people 90% of Denny’s business (the mentally retarded and anorexic make up the other 10%). This is a bad idea – a really, really bad idea.
Nevermind. I ain’t ever going to Providence. Screw them.
- Call for Questions: The Tank Johnson, Esq. Mailbag [Style Points]
- What Do You Mean Lance Uppercut is Already Taken? [Melt Your Face Off]
- NFL Quick Hits – November 18, 2009 [The Phoenix Pub]
- Dick Jauron Fired, Buffalo Still Apathetic [Second-String Fullback]
- Guillermo Barros Schelotto: Bargain Buy or Falling Stock? [Avoiding the Drop]
- It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Kitten Mittens commercial
- Rhode Island’s Nadia Bjorlin!
And for the ladies…
Harry Anderson! (also from Rhode Island)
Alrighty then, have fun.