Last Call: Work Computers Meltdown Edition
Howdy, everyone. How ya doing? Me? Oh, great. Really, really great.
I have spent the last two days putting out fires here at my wonderful place of employment, specifically the shitastic computers we have. It’s been a real blast. And amazingly, the shitstorm isn’t even over with yet. With that, I have a few things I would like to get off my chest.
Fuck shitty antivirus programs. Fuck malware scans. Fuck System Restore. Fuck creating a new restore point. Fuck Safe Mode. Fuck starting in safe mode with command prompt. Fuck Windows Installer popping up for no goddamn reason whatsoever. Fuck redirecting malware. Fuck people who open up e-mails that have been quarantined. Fuck MSN games and people who believe that they need to have over 50 different games downloaded. Fuck not updating your java software. Fuck trojans. Fuck the fact that I know pretty much jack shit about computers yet I am the one who has to fix everyone else’s problems because I’m the only one who knows pretty much jack shit.
Ahhhhh. There. I feel so much better. Thanks. It’s nice to get that off my chest. With that accomplished, the only computing I plan on doing this evening is attempting to figure out how many ounces of vodka I need to ingest to reach a .20 BAC. Cheers!
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Alright, kids. Do what you do. And thanks for putting up with my rant.