Susan Finkelstein’s Got A ‘Phillies Fever’ And The Only Prescription Is More Whoring For World Series Tickets
Susan Finkelstein, the famed Philadelphia Phillies World Series Tickets Madam, stated in an interview with the Associated Press that she is “embarrassed” and that she was getting the tickets for her husband, which I guess means that, in our monogomy-obsessed society, there would be no way she was going to get physical, physical, (she wants to get physical, let’s get into…) with a stranger to score some tickets. Her lawyer added that his client has “Philiies Fever,” but after taking a look at her, that might be as a result of a flare up of her genital herpes. A few quotes from Finkelstein, a lifelong Phillies fan, which I think is more a condemnation on her character than the fact she was down for some bangin’:
“I didn’t do anything wrong, so I’m not embarrassed about my actions. I’m embarrassed about how I was arrested.”
“I was hoping to get cheap tickets,” she said, “maybe meet someone, and talk, and bat my eyelashes and maybe get some tickets.”
I see. Well, she gets to see to go to a World Series game, courtesy of WIRED 96.5 FM and a northeast Philadelphia car dealership, so I guess it all worked out in the end. To be honest, no matter what the truth is, I don’t find her to be a completely deplorable person. All I’m going to say is that she looks like Robert Plant after a bout with the mumps. Do people still get the mumps?
Woman in sex-for-tix case ’embarrassed’ [The Associated Press]
No sex needed to get her Series tickets [The Philadelphia Inquirer]