Sportress of Blogitude

Man, Bruce Springsteen Looks Like S**t

The Boss

You know, I’m not one that takes pleasure in pointing out other’s unpleasant appearances – despite being devastatingly attractive, I have empathy for my less pleasing-to-the-eye fellow humans – but I’m sorry, Bruce Springsteen looks like shit, man. He looks like he’s pushing eighty, for crying out loud.

And what is this George Steinbrenner nonsense? Why do they keep referring to The Boss in the article by that name? I always thought Bruce Springsteen was The Boss’ real name, not some stage identity dreamed up by some wisenheimer Madison Avenue hotshot. And I hate to point out the errors in an AP story, but Bruce Springsteen has never owned the New York Yankees. Everybody knows the owner of the Bronx Bombers is Larry David.

But jeez-louise, I cannot believe how decrepit, sickly and old The Boss looks. Bruce, whoo…time has ravaged your once youthful looks. I guess we all can’t stay young forever. Except for me, obviously. Just like Kelly LeBrock in that Pantene commercial, don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Notebook: The Boss attends World Series opener [SI/AP]