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Ted’s Head Is Back Blogging At FoxSports, Handicapping The World Series And Complaining About Kate Hudson Movies

ted's head

When you think of class, you always think of Fox. After all, they are the mega media conglomerate behind giving Michael Strahan a television show. So it should come as no surprise that they have went back to a tasteless (although funny) routine where the head of Ted Williams blogs. In his most recent column, Ted’s Head previews the World Series. The previous installment had Ted’s’ Head breaking down the division series. Punte over at With Leather summed up the situation best when he described the bit this way:

I don’t know whether to start laughing my ass off or recoil in horror at what a bizarre lapse in decorum FOXSports has shown us here. A lot of times, bloggers will blast big media for doing stuff like this, but we do stuff like this all the time over at KSK [though, never with just a fraction of a person’s anatomy, though Drew Brees’ birthmark was “this close” to becoming his own character]. This really is brilliant, and this will be one of the only MLB previews I read in its entirety.

I agree. Just because something is in poor taste doesn’t prevent it from being funny. What is surprising is that not only did someone green light the bit over at FoxSports initially but that they went back to the well and are doing it again.

Some of the high points, after the jump.

The blog post gets started off with Ted’s Head addressing those who find such antics in bad taste.

Attention: pantywaists.

I’ve been told that the Ol’ Splinter weighing in on the baseball playoffs has offended your delicate sensibilities. Gosh, we sure coulda used you fellas in Korea. Or the Big One.

You’da been great, impervious to everything but 88-millimeter artillery or satire of questionable taste.

Well, beat it. Because I got thoughts leaking out of my bean and I intend to share them.

Now, on to all of the frozen, decapitated head references:

  • And Bud, what’s with these umps? I thought I had the most debilitating brain freeze in baseball.
  • And it breaks my heart — which is over in another wing of the facility — to say it.
  • Lord knows Teddy Ballgame never had a speck of luck. (And, trust me, the streak has continued in this godforsaken place. Hell has frozen over, and I live there.)
  • That was the night it became clear the Yankees would win their 27th world championship. 27. (Hold on, while I retch in my own ice box.)

And if you thought for one second that the Decapitated Head of the Splendid Splinter wasn’t going to take a shot at A-Rod’s girlfriend, Kate Hudson, that’s where you would be wrong. Referring to the Yankees’ recent run of good fortune:

Oh man, do they have lady luck on their side. (And I’m not just talking about Kate Hudson, who somehow gets to keep making movies after “Fool’s Gold,” “My Best Friend’s Girl” and “Bride Wars.”)

All in all, the column is hardly offensive. It’s really well worth reading the entire thing to see how it blends in actual analysis and lowbrow humor. Ultimately, no harm, no foul. Nevertheless, I can’t believe they went with this twice.

Oh, and Ted’s Head picked the Yankees in six.

To be honest, that’s the most offensive aspect of the entire column.

Ted’s head makes his World Series pick [FoxSports]
The Kid puts the head in head-to-head matchups [Fox Sports]