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I Wonder How Many Times Bela Karolyi Has Masturbated To This Video

Above we have video of 19-year-old Colombian gymnast Jessica Gil Ortiz’s floor routine at the 2009 World Championships. Things went kid of awry during her attempt at a double front somersault. Total Pro Sports has the pertinent details, as I am more interested in watching it over and over than trying to figure out exactly what happened for myself:

Moments into her floor routine, Jessica attempted to cap off a tumbling sequence with a challenging double front somersault, but that double quickly turned into a single-and-a-half, causing her to land on her head and out of the competition.  Laying curled up at the corner of the mat, her coaches and the paramedics rushed to check up on Jessica.  She would leave the O2 arena strapped on to a stretcher wearing a neck brace, but reports from the hospital indicated that the injury suffered was not too serious.

Well, it’s good to hear that young Jessica will be alright and will be able to one day perhaps compete again.

Which is good news for Béla Károlyi. He likes her style. Still, nothing gives him a bigger sexual rush than watching a talented young gymnast come inches from paralysis. He’s got an expansive video collection comprised solely of young women experienced catastrophic injuries.

Sure, it’s creepy, but the guy is from Hungary, for crying out loud. What do you expect? He claims watching this sort of stuff is the only way he can achieve an erection these days, ever since Kerri Strug spurned his overly-aggressive advances in 1996.

And what kind of name is that anyway? Hungary. Was Thirstary already taken?

Gymnast Falls Head First Out Of The Competition …Literally! [Total Pro Sports]