Finally, A Product For Those Golfers Who Are Too Afraid To Piss In The Woods
This product has been around for some time, but for the uninitiated, allow me to introduce you to the Uro Club: the worst idea for something with “uro” in the name since Euro Disney.
Big ups to Waggle Room for bringing back into the public eye this ill-conceived-in-so-many-ways product. Apparently, some urologist invented it for guys who don’t find the conditions of the port-a-john conducive to urinating or find the idea of pissing next to a tree to be a little too au natural for them.
Via the Official Website of Uro Club:
This may sound like a joke, but it’s not. I am a Board Certified Urologist, practicing in Florida, a place where Golf is played year round. Every day I hear these same complaints from my patients because they suffer from urinary frequency (a condition that can begin in men, as early as their mid 30’s). Even if you don’t have this problem, let’s face it, there are not too many bathrooms on the golf course.
These are the very patients that inspired me to create the UroClub™. A camouflaged portable urinal, designed to be discrete, sanitary and create an air of privacy! It looks like an ordinary golf club and comes equipped with a unique removable golf towel clipped to the shaft that functions as a privacy shield!
Imagine, giving the appearance of taking a practice swing, while both privately and confidentially, you are able to relieve yourself without any embarrassment! This can be accomplished easily while standing by the golf cart, as well. Have the confidence to drink whatever you wish during your game and not worry if you’ll make it to the clubhouse in time!
And only $24.95! (while supplies last)
Going along with the Uro Club creator’s theme: this may sound like a joke, but it’s not – this has got to be the most piss-poor invention I have ever seen. You would no doubt draw more attention to yourself using this product then sneaking off the fairway and taking a whiz in a bush or by a tree.
In case the concept of pissing into a hollow club is too confusing for the layperson that frequently finds themselves pissing their pants on the golf course, the site has detailed instructions on how to use the contraption.
Oh, so I take the cap off first? Now you tell me!
And I don’t know about anyone else, but the half-liter capacity (“twice the volume commonly urinated”!!!) seems a bit small. If you’re having difficulty waiting a few minutes to relieve yourself on the golf course, odds are is because you just slammed 5 or 6 beers so you could stock up again when the Beer Cart Gal came around. A half-liter ain’t going to cut it. You’ll be left looking like a pervert standing in the middle of the 4th fairway with your cock in your hand (hidden by a towel!) with piss all over yourself.
Yeah, it’s so much more undignified to walk over to a tree and take a piss. Brilliant.
I can only envision one benefit of purchasing this product: handing it to one of your unsuspecting buddies to try it out your “new club” without the cap on. That would learn ’em.
Move Over, Whizzinator! Meet the Uroclub! [Waggle Room]