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Dyed Hair, Earrings And Marijuana-Fueled Orgies Have No Place In Japanese Swimming

japanese swim team

The Japanese Swimming Federation has decided to put its stereotypically small foot down due to a rash of individualistic, immoral behavior wreaking havoc on its community of competitive swimmers and has been left with no choice but to take a hard stance against such activity.

That’s right, Japanese swimmers: if you even think about dying your hair, painting your fingernails, or *gasp* wearing an earring to a competition, you might just buy yourself a one-way ticket to, um, not being able to swim competitively anymore. Darn.

What’s worse is this super-terrific-crazy funtime behavior doesn’t stop with the outward appearances of swimmers. Apparently, there has been reports of weed-smoking and boy swimmers cavorting with girl swimmers in one another’s hotel rooms!

Japanese officials have launched a strict policy to prevent athletes turning up for competitions looking more like rock stars than swimmers.

Male and female swimmers caught sneaking into each others rooms at Japanese training camp, where the sexes have separate sleeping quarters, will also find themselves in hot water.

I’m no expert on Japanese culture, but I’m pretty sure if they would have simply traded underwear and Anime Hentai Tentacle Porn DVDs with one another, there would have been no problem.

Marijuana use has also been a problem, according to Masafumi Izumi, executive director of the Japanese Swimming Federation.

“We have had many recent controversies (in Japan) with marijuana in sport and at universities, and this is about swimming taking a stand on its own initiative.”

The JSF has defended this hard-line stance by pointing out that big-time swimming programs like those found in Austrailia and the U.S. have taken similar steps to curbing such indecent behavior, and it’s imperative that the Japanese try to emulate these successful programs.

It is more an enhancement of the rules,” the JSF told Reuters. “It’s a policy top swimming countries like Australia and the Americans follow.”

So, the Japanese, while trying to pattern their programs after the Americans have also noticed that marijuana use among its athletes is on the rise?

I can’t say how, but my guess is the Cult of Michael Phelps is behind all of it.

Japan pours cold water on fashionista swimmers [Reuters]