Sportress of Blogitude

C’mon Dudes, Jeff Reed Is Like Totally Innocent And These Charges Are Bogus, Brah!

jeffreed

Hey, everybody relax and take a chill pill – Jeff Reed did not do what the police said he did. He like, totally didn’t do it, man. There’s no way Jeff Reed got into some sort of altercation with police officers after they tried to bust in on his teammate Matt Spaeth’s impromptu pee party in the parking lot of McFadden’s. You want to know how I’m so sure about this? Because Reed’s agent, Donal Henderson, said so.

That’s right, the guy who is paid in part to get Reed out of any trouble Reed may find himself in went out on a limb, putting his sterling reputation as a professional sports agent at risk, to say that no, Jeff Reed had not “squared up with (an officer) by bringing his fists up and going into a fighter’s stance,” as the police report alleges he did, to defend the honor of is bladder-control challenged brother from another mother.

“You think he’d put his hands up to fight a police officer? You’ve got to be kidding me,” Henderson said. “That’s ridiculous. Jeff Reed wouldn’t fight anybody, so we disagree with the police and what happened. We’ll try to take care of it as cleanly as we can.”

It is certainly difficult to argue with that persuasive argument. If I could, however, ask one thing:  is it just me, or does that sound eerily familiar to Rick James’ denial of grinding his boots on Eddie Muphy’s couch? To wit:

“See, I never just did things just to do them. Come on, what am I gonna do? Just all of a sudden jump up and grind my feet on somebody’s couch like it’s something to do? Come on. I got a little more sense then that.”

Change a few words and you have Henderson’s denial almost verbatim:

“See, Jeff Reed never just did things just to do them. Come on, what is he gonna do? Just all of a sudden jump up and square his fists in a police officer’s face like it’s something to do? Come on. He’s got a little more sense then that.”

The only aspect that was missing from his quote was, “Yeah, I remember Jeff Reed saying he squared up his fists to a Pittsburgh cop.”

Check and mate, Mr. Henderson.

I have no earthly idea where I was going with this or what it proves, but there it is.

Steelers kicker Reed’s agent denies charges [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]