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Hey, Mike Lupica: It Looks Like You Got Politics In Your Sports Writing…Again

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For what seems to be for the 25,000th time, Mike Lupica has made the mistake of believing that the New York Daily News pays him to write columns regarding politics and not piss-poor columns about sports, when he chose to, in his infinite wisdom, point out that sports have the power to lift a city’s spirits far more than any mayoral campaign ever could.

Stop the presses! Is he implying that the ups and downs of a sports team have a greater bearing on the average citizen’s daily life than what occurs in the world of politics? If that’s the case, then why does C-SPAN consistently get higher ratings than ESPN? It doesn’t? Oh.

He also neglects to realize, in his sniveling arrogance, that nobody gives two shits what he thinks about New York’s mayoral campaign.

Let Lupica lay it all out for you in a manner that someone not as intelligent or plugged-in as himself can understand:

This is the way it still can be, a sports team getting on this kind of run, carrying the city along with it. And when sports IS like this, it takes the whole area we think of as New York, the whole idea of New York, and makes it feel like one of those “Friday Night Lights” high school football towns.

Sports doesn’t fix a single pothole or save a single home, or school, and more often than not it breaks your heart in the end. But it can still lift a city for a few hours, a few weeks, even a whole month if the Yankees do manage to go all the way. It is the beauty of it – these games meaning nothing, and everything.

Interesting. But how can something mean nothing and everything at the same time? Slow down, Lupica, you’re going way too fast for the unwashed, ignorant masses you look down on with with self-absorbed, sniveling contempt.

Next, Lupica dares you to root for a mayoral candidate in the same way you would cheer for Mariano Rivera.

Really: Would you rather cheer for Rivera, who has only shown you grace and excellence across his time in New York, or somebody from a mayor’s race that is mostly about nothing?

I’m sorry. I can’t do it, Mike. You got me on that one. But I wish he would explain this to me: am I supposed to feel ashamed that I cannot cheer for a mayor’s race with the same passion? Does he? And if the mayor’s race is mostly about nothing, why does he devote the following five-plus paragraphs to it? I don’t intend you to actually read the following excerpt, it’s simply a means of illustrating that this drivel has no place in a sports column:

This mayoral campaign should have been about a lot of things, starting with term limits, and the completely fraudulent notion that Michael Bloomberg had to stay on the job because only he, our imperial mayor, could lead the city out of financial crisis. The Democrats should have gone at him hard. Only there is no Democratic Party in New York City anymore, no exciting candidate anywhere in town, or on the horizon. They sent Bill Thompson instead.

So Rudy Giuliani, Republican in a Democratic city, ran and won twice – and would have run a third time if he’d known the City Council was easier than an escort service – and Bloomberg is about to run and win for a third time, on his way to spending nearly $100 million to keep a sweetheart rental on City Hall.

Whether Thompson puts a scare into Bloomberg at the end or not, he is such an uninteresting candidate he can’t get a real endorsement out of President Obama. Think about something: Obama is more interested in the campaign he doesn’t want David Paterson to run for governor than the one Thompson does run for mayor.

Obama would rather come to Jersey and back the play of Jon Corzine, running for governor against Chris Christie in a campaign so skeevy it makes you feel as if you have been sprayed by skunks every time you get near it.

Christie should carry around a sign that simply reads this way: “Jersey Politician.” Corzine is no better and probably worse. He bought a Senate seat in Jersey and then the governor’s mansion with Goldman Sachs money – really, where else could he have made his fortune? – and wants you to believe that if you elect Christie his first order of business will be ripping women away from mammogram machines.

And, oh yeah, Christie’s fat.

So, in summary, in a sixteen paragraph column about the Yankees, found in the SPORTS SECTION of the Daily News, more than a third of the paragraphs have absolutely nothing to do with sports?

Heckuva gig Lupica’s got going – get paid an obscene amount of money to write about sports for a major newspaper but instead of covering the topic for which he was hired, use it as conduit to live out his failed dreams of being a big-time political writer.

Go eat a bag of dicks, Lupica. And after that, write some more crappy novels that you refer to as adolescent fiction. Asshole.

Yankees are boosting city in a way that our politicians can’t [New York Daily News]