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Sportress of Blogitude

Ted Williams Stars In ‘Re-Animator II: Electric Boogaloo’

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Grisly details on how Boston Red Sox great Ted Williams’ decapitated head and body were gruesomely mistreated are the basis of a new book, Frozen, written by Larry Johnson – a former executive for Alcor Life Extension Foundation – the facility that handled and stored the cryogenically frozen remains of Williams. And let me tell you, the accounts of what occurred are not for the squeamish. Via the New York Daily News:

Johnson writes that in July 2002, shortly after the Red Sox slugger died at age 83, technicians with no medical certification gleefully photographed and used crude equipment to decapitate the majors’ last .400 hitter.

Williams’ severed head was then frozen, and even used for batting practice by a technician trying to dislodge it from a tuna fish can.

The chief operating officer of Alcor for eight months before becoming a whistleblower in 2003, Johnson wrote his book while in hiding, fearful for his life.

Horribly inappropriate practices like that are no way for Alcor to get a-head in the cryopreservation business. Ugh. That joke stunk as bad as Teddy Ballgame’s horribly mistreated corpse.

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The stories continue to read like a B-movie horror script.

The book describes other atrocities at Alcor’s facility in Arizona, including the dismembering of live dogs that were injected with chemicals in experiments, and a situation in which human blood and toxic chemicals were dumped into a parking lot sewer drain.

Johnson writes that holes were drilled in Williams’ severed head for the insertion of microphones, then frozen in liquid nitrogen while Alcor employees recorded the sounds of Williams’ brain cracking 16 times as temperatures dropped to -321 degrees Fahrenheit.

Johnson writes that the head was balanced on an empty can of Bumble Bee tuna to keep it from sticking to the bottom of its case.

Johnson describes watching as another Alcor employee removed Williams’ head from the freezer with a stick, and tried to dislodge the tuna can by swinging at it with a monkey wrench.

The technician, no .406 hitter like the baseball legend, missed the can with several swings of the wrench and smacked Williams’ head directly, spraying “tiny pieces of frozen head” around the room.

Yikes. I guess the nickname, the “Splendid Splinter” followed Williams even after his death.

Sweet Jesus, that is simply horrifying. To what sick and twisted level of depravity does a person have to sink to perform such atrocities? Other than being an obvious Yankees fan, I guess.

I can only imagine what sort of twisted shit they would have done to Walt Disney’s head. You know, if he hadn’t faked his own death. I shit you not, it’s true. I read it in the Weekly World News. He’s now hanging out with Elvis, John F. Kennedy and Liberace.

Say what you want, those guys make a formidable bowling team.

Staff at Arizona cryogenics lab Alcor used Ted Williams’ frozen head for batting practice: book [New York Daily News]