Sportress of Blogitude


Eli Manning Wants You To Screw Your New LED Television


Samsung has announced that a new commercial promoting their new LED television will feature Eli Manning throwing a football that travels across several television screens past fans sitting on their sofas. Far out, man. The ads will air on all of the major networks that carry the NFL and will also be shown in NFL stadiums.  In the ad, using perhaps going a little overboard with the erotic sexual imagery for a television, Manning informs us to:

“Don’t just see the game. Feel it. Own it. Be close to it, so far up in it, you’re knocked over on every play. This is football in HyperReal.”

“Feel it. Own it. Be close to it, so far up in it…” Is he discussing how awesome and dynamic football looks on this television or how good it would feel to stick your dick in it? Unless LED stands for “Loves Experiencing Dong,” I don’t really understand what direction Samsung his headed with this ad campaign. Because I have looked at the specs on Samsung’s new LED line and nowhere did I read anything about them having “a revolutionary Cockport for the best schlongectivity.” And if you can somehow manage to slide it up in the USB port, I wouldn’t go bragging about it.

Despite the questionable angle Samsung is taking with their Eli Manning commercials, there may be some tension at the Thanksgiving table this year at the Manning household – at least more than usual – since now both Manning brothers are shilling for high definition televisions. Peyton has been pimping the merits of Sony televisions for some time now. And poor Cooper? I believe he was in negotiations with Fada, but talks unfortunately broke down. Keep on plugging away though, Coop. One day things are bound to go your way.

Samsung Steps Up the Action With Eli Manning [The New York Times]