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I Guess Linda McMahon Truly Is Qualified To Run For Senate

linda mcmahon

Is that…is that Hypocritical Bitch’s music I’m hearing???

When I heard the news that Linda McMahon, wife of WWE mastermind Vince McMahon, would be seeking the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate  in Connecticut, I have to admit that I was bit skeptical. Living in Minnesota, I have already endured Jesse Ventura running for, and miraculously becoming (yes, I voted for him – I was young), Governor of my fine state, so I have had my fill of people associated with professional wrestling assuming prestigious roles within our government.

Nevertheless, something wasn’t quite right about Linda McMahon’s quest – that is, until I learned that she didn’t vote in the 2008 Republican presidential primary after John McCain was deemed the likely GOP nominee, then I was sure she would be a perfect fit in Washington.

Some will argue that it isn’t a big deal that she didn’t vote in the primary – lots of people don’t bother with going through the motions, especially when it has become clear who is going to win the nomination, but I’m sure she exercises her right to vote in actualy elections, right?

Yes and no. She did manage to find the time in her day to vote in the 2008 general election, but admitted on her campaign blog that she neglected to vote in the 2006 general election as well as several local elections. From her post, “One Of My Regrets”:

“I talk all the time about how important it is for people to vote. And it is. Yet, I haven’t always been the best example myself,” she wrote. “I regret it, I apologize, and I don’t make any excuses for it.”

Hey Linda, have you taken a look at your daughter Stephanie lately? Don’t tell me one of your other regrets wasn’t smoking and drinking heavily, maybe even taking a tumble down the stairs, falling on a straightened-out coat hanger – something – during your demon-seed daughter’s unholy gestation? I’m not saying she’s a no-good dirty whore, but if it looks and acts like one, well, you know the rest.

And don’t think for a second that McMahon’s campaign team is going to take this lying down, which incidentally is how Linda has made it this far in life. Nope. Campaign spokesman Ed Patru instead attempted to make lemonade out of lemons:

“People are tired of politicians in Washington who make mistakes and refuse to accept responsibility,” he said. “That is not the kind of candidate that Linda is going to be. When she makes a mistake, she’ll own up to it, take responsibility.”

Good to know. Best of luck to ya, Linda. Who says worthless pieces of shit can’t accomplish wonderful things in this country?

Ex-wrestling CEO running for Senate missed voting [Sporting News/AP]