Sportress of Blogitude

Nick Swisher Has Great Taste In Women, Horrible Taste In Television Shows

nick swisherJoAnna GarciaNick Swisher, in his first season with the New York Yankees, couldn’t have asked for things to turn out better. He’s playing some of the best baseball of his career, batting .252 with 27 home runs and 79 RBI on a first place team and has used his heightened social status to land attractive actress Joanna Garcia.

In a sitdown with Jimmy Traina of’s Extra Mustard, Swisher dished on how great it is to be Nick Swisher, how Garcia is “his lady” and his favorite television shows, among other things.

Traina comes right out and presses Swisher for the status of his relationship with the lovely Garcia. You were a big part of Hot Clicks last Wednesday, because we featured your rumored girlfriend, actress Joanna Garcia. Can you confirm or deny?

Swisher: She is my lady. Joanna is my lady.

She’s his lady? But is she all he’d ever want, the kind he’d like to flaunt and take to dinner? Either way, she’s his lady…whoa whoa whoa she’s his lady. She had a great role in Not Another Teen Movie as a cheerleader who said dirty things.

Swisher: [Laughing] I haven’t seen it yet. I’ve seen the movie, but I don’t remember her being in it.

Uh-oh. Somebody’s going to be in the doghouse. In my personal experience, any time someone asks you about a movie your love interest has been in, you lie. Hey, it kept me in a relationship with Betty White for years. Quite the woman, that Betty.

If you’re a Nick Swisher fan, he goes on to discuss several other interesting topics in the interview, from what it’s like to play for the Yankees to his unique handshakes after he hits a home run, but something caught my eye towards the end of the article, when Traina asks him what his favorite television shows are: What are your favorite TV shows?

Swisher: I’m a HUGE, HUGE fan of Wipeout. I think that might be the funniest show out right now. And I like watching Entourage. But if you’re talking all-time show, I’m a big Home Improvement guy. Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor, man.

Sweet Christ. Wipeout? Entourage? Freaking Home Improvement? That’s a total trifecta of suck right there. So, he enjoys watching a weak reality show which is only two steps away from being the modern day equivalent of Ow! My Balls!, another show that should only be used as a barometer to determine whether someone is a hipster retard or not and one of the most shittastic shitcoms ever to grace the airwaves? I’m sorry, but the only “Tool Man” is you, Nick Swisher. You’re the “Tool Man.” Now, if you know what’s good for you, you will start watching quality programming, like Two and a Half Men, Grey’s Anatomy and The Mentalist or else.

Better yet, Swisher probably should have said that he that as least of of his favorite shows was one his “lady” is on. You know, that one show that no one watches.

Nick Swisher Q&A [Extra Mustard]