Sportress of Blogitude


Those 200 People Who Went Missing After Their Ship Capsized Off The Coast Of Sierra Leone Sure Picked A Bad Time To Drown

sierra-leonenflIt doesn’t sound as if those 80 suspected dead (and the body count still rising) are going to be able to see the NFL season opener tonight when the Pittsburgh Steelers square off against the Tennessee Titans.

Highlights will not available to the mostly children who likely drowned off the coast of Sierra Leone.

They will never see the live performance by the Black Eyed Peas. Never get to see Tim McGraw get his honky tonk on. Probably won’t hear Berman say “the Raiiiiiiiiiderrrrrrrs” ever again.

They will never be allowed to record a game with out the expressed written consent of the National Football League. Or hear Joe Buck at his smug best. Or see Jimmy Johnson’s hair helmet. Or run to the store at halftime for more beer.

Now, that’s deprivation.

Can you imagine? Drowning in the depths of the North Atlantic Ocean aware of the fact that the Steelers begin their quest to defend their Super Bowl championship just one day away. They were looking forward to listening to the soothing sound of Al Michaels’ voice calling the game on NBC when they left the village of Shenge to travel to Tombo. Penitentiary inmates at least get an hour of TV a day, and I’m sure they will use it to watch football tonight. These poor souls were cut off from everything but the elements.

How long before the scavengers in the ocean fully digest their bloated corpses? How difficult to feel their lungs fill with water?

More than that, who’s going to explain to their families that their fantasy football league is going to be canceled?

The drowning victims’ families are going to need therapy dealing with the loss of their league commissioners- you think? – so perhaps they should take a respite before confronting the new realities.

So, families of the victims, whenever you’re ready, the NFL will be there for you. And there’s always time to join a new fantasy league on Yahoo!

Congratulations, drowning victims. You left this mortal coil.

Wait. Where are you going? Was it something I wrote? Mainstream journalists do this all the time and they never experience any backlash from it.

Oh, so he did get ripped for it? Well, I guess it should count for something that he apologized for his mistake, right? That should end the controversy and make this all go away, correct?

No? Oh.

Many odd things have happened in sports the past 18 years [Orange County Register]
Mark Whicker Leaves The Yard [Deadspin]
After Unanimous Backlash, Mark Whicker Responds [Deadspin]