Sidney Crosby Loves Gilfs
Oh, Sidney Crosby, you dirty dog! Tired of the dating scene, Crosby, in some ill-conceived attempt at finding true love, has set his sights on one hot geriatric momma.
Believe me, Sid, it ain’t gonna work. She’ll just use you up and kick you to the curb.
Apparently, Alice Kilgore, a season ticket holder for 40 years, must have made quite the impression on the young Crosby two years ago when he visited her house to drop off season tickets prior to the 2007 season. Her siren song proved to be too strong and Crosby could not help himself, returning once again to her love nest on Monday, under the guise of delivering Amorous Alice her season tickets. Sparks flew. Emotions ran high. She actually talked to him, man!
When Crosby last stopped by to put the moves on Alice, she predicted that the Penguins wouldn’t win the Stanley Cup that year, but was balls-on accurate when she said that the Penguins would hoist the Cup the following year.
Although he was turned away last time, Crosby wasn’t going to miss out on an opportunity at sweet, sweet lovin’ on this occasion. He brought the ultimate panty remover: Lord Stanley’s Cup.
In honor of Alice’s soothsaying abilities, Crosby made a return visit to hand delivered her season tickets for the 2009-10 season. This time though, he brought a 35-pound surprise…the Stanley Cup.
“This is wonderful. I can’t believe it,” Alice said of her surprise. “Can I kiss it? Can I kiss him?”
Seconds later Alice kissed the Cup and gave Crosby a peck on the cheek.
“I don’t want to let (the Cup) go,” she said. “It’s beautiful. Can I keep it? Because it’s not going anywhere else. It has to come back here in June.”
“I hope you’re right,” Crosby said.
They say these May-September romances rarely work out, but I don’t know, I see something special between these two. I would call it a Love Connection, but I believe that might be in violation of the temporary restraining provisions in my defamation of character lawsuit against Chuck Woolery. I’m tired of that prick besmirching my good name.
Here’s the video of Crosby’s visit.
The sexual tension brewing is almost too hot for the internet!! Was it just me, or was Crosby’s insistence on playing pocket pool the entire time he was talking to Alice was a bit much? Calm down, shooter.
Crosby Makes Special Return Delivery [NHL.com]