Sportress of Blogitude

I’m Telling You, I Bet Those Goddamn Cowbells Got To Him

cowbellgirl_20391cTigers Rays Spring BaseballSome complete moron who works for the Tampa Bay Rays is in deep shit after he planted a fake bomb at Tropicana Field.

William L. Jordan, 38, was arrested on a charge of planting a hoax device. He is a mechanic with the team and built and hid the device as part of a “practical joke,” the St. Petersburg Police Department said.

“His actions were in very poor taste and do not reflect the values of the organization,” Rays vice president Rick Vaughn wrote in an e-mail.

Man, the Rays vice president must have really loved Major League or something. And it’s a good thing pretending to be a terrorist doesn’t “reflect the value of the organization.” You know, 9/11.

The fake bomb planter guy went all MacGyver-like when he fashioned his improvised fake explosive.

The device was a box that was taped to a shelf, had wires sticking out and emitted a “beeping” sound. It was built to look like an explosive device, police said.

Once William L. Jordan, the genius behind the prank, became aware that the police and organization were taking the fake bomb very seriously, he fessed up, but that didn’t prevent him from getting tossed in jail and charged with planting a hoax device.

Although he hasn’t been fired yet, it’s still possible he could get shitcanned, so said Vaughn, who stated in an e-mail that “this will be handled internally.”

Speaking of handling something internally, how about your stupid organization internally decide to cause internal injuries to any fan who rings that fucking annoying cowbell? The Rays were on ESPN the other night playing the Red Sox and I couldn’t even watch the game with the sound up because of those fucking irritating noisemakers. Oooh, how impressive, a bunch of your fans can shake something back and forth to emit an amazingly annoying noise. Brilliant. Here’s a concept: cheer when something good happens – shit, do the lame-ass wave for all I care. Just stop with the cowbell shenanigans. No one thinks it’s cute or funny or shows what great fans you are – all it shows is your fanbase is comprised of a bunch of asshat mouth-breathers.

St. Petersburg police: Tampa Bay Rays employee planted fake bomb at Tropicana Field [St. Petersburg Times via Fan IQ]