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Wake N’ Blog For September 2nd: Wouldn’t It Be Worse If Satan Thought The Metro South Church In Suburban Detroit Didn’t Suck?

wake-n-blogMLB Roundup. Cole Hamels pitched a two-hit shutout to lead the Phillies to a 1-0 win over the Giants. Josh Hamilton homered twice in the second game of a doubleheader as the Rangers beat the Blue Jays by a score of 5-2 in both games. Pinch hitter Jose Morlales hit a walkoff single in the bottom of the 9th to give the Twins a 4-3 win over the White Sox, who have now won 11 of 14. [MLB.com Scoreboard]

U.S. Open. Number one seed Dinara Safina struggled, but came back to beat 167th-ranked Olivia Rogowska 6-7 (5), 6-2, 6-4. Former number one player in the world Ana Invanovic once again lost early at the U.S. Open, losing 2-6, 6-3, 7-6 (7) to Kateryna Bondarenko. On the men’s side number two seed Andy Murray easily handled Ernests Gulbis 7-5, 6-3, 7-5. [USOpen.org]

National Football League. Only two days after ending his holdout, Andre Smith, the Cincinnati Bengals’ number one pick, broke his foot in practice. According to Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis, it looks like Smith will be out for a few weeks. [The Associated Press]

Who are the ad wizards who came up with one? No, seriously, who thought of this? In an aggressive and ill-conceived advertising campaign, Metro South Church in Trenton, Michigan, has placed signs around town that state the congregation at the church “sucks” and “makes me sick.” The ads are signed by Satan. I expect the Lord of the Underworld to file suit in Ethereal Court seeking damages for slander and defamation of character. [Yahoo!/AP]