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Sportress of Blogitude

NASCAR

Prediction: Everyone Working For Hendrick Motorsports Are About To Become Scientologists

hendricktom_cruise_scientologySorry, Baby Jesus, you’re about to lose a few of your God-fearin’ and Bible beatin’ good old boys from NASCAR: Tom Cruise has infiltrated your flock and once he’s inside, the guy is difficult to contain and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Tom Cruise will narrate an upcoming documentary about the history of Hendrick Motorsports.

“TOGETHER: The Hendrick Motorsports Story” will air Oct. 11 on ABC before the network begins its coverage of the Sprint Cup Series race at California.

Cruise will narrate during never-before-seen footage and family photographs that chronicle Rick Hendrick’s 25 years in NASCAR.

Hoo boy, this ain’t good for Christianity. Either there will be a massive backlash against Kendrick Motorsports or it will be the beginning of a conversion bigger than what happened in Hollywood. I can practically see it now: the L. Ron Hubbard Memorial Speedway at Daytona. Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. hooking their cars up to E-meters for auditing. Nope, this can’t be good.

My only question is: what are NASCAR fans going to set on fire in people’s yards now as a symbol of their beliefs and unity? Do you know how hard it is going to be to construct this out of wood?

scientology_symbol_logo

Hard times, they are a-comin’, NASCAR fans. Better strap in.

Tom Cruise to narrate Hendrick Motorsports film [USA Today]