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College Football

Hey ESPN, Why Don’t You Go Ahead And F**k Yourself, Too?

dave-matthews

Sweet Christ, when is this shit going to stop? Just yesterday I was bitching about how TBS is using a Bon Jovi song for their MLB playoffs commercial, now this? Via Awful Announcing:

The Grammy Award-winning Dave Matthews Band will serve as the official band of ESPN’s college football coverage from the kickoff of the season to the conclusion of the BCS National Championship Game on ABC on Jan. 7, providing 10 songs – seven from their new album Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King — for game and studio telecasts across multiple platforms. The other three songs will come from the albums Crash and Under the Table and Dreaming.

The music will be featured in various ways during game and studio telecasts, including as the networks go to and return from commercial breaks, in highlight montages and for promotions of upcoming programs and show segments across ABC, ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNU, ESPN360.com, ESPN Mobile TV and ESPN International.

On occasion, the song will be accompanied by a video montage of Dave Matthews Band concert performance footage and college football highlights. Every Saturday Night Football Presented by Southwest Airlines telecast on ABC will feature a 45-second montage of first-half highlights at the beginning of the second half.

You know, I could go off on another tirade similar to the one I went off on about Bon Jovi, but instead just read the post about Bon Jovi and insert Dave Matthews Band for Bon Jovi and I think that will be sufficient. But I would like to add one additional thought: LeRoi Moore was allowed to die because even God hates the Dave Matthews Band. Either that or Clarence Clemons didn’t like the way Moore was horning in on his territory. That guy is fucking cutthroat, man.

One good thing came of this story, though. The below YouTube video by someone who hates Dave Matthews as much as God does.

It would be funnier if it wasn’t so close to the truth. The next time we want to force a dictator out of his compound, we should simply blast “Crash” on repeat outside of it. I bet you the guy wouldn’t last two hours.

More ESPN Music News, DMB “Official Band Of College Football Coverage” [Awful Announcing]