Sportress of Blogitude

Now Hold On A Second: Jimmy Johnson Filmed TV Spots About Responsible Drinking?

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Initially, this post was going to be about Jimmy Johnson’s contention that the video boards at Cowboys Stadium are just fine, until I read to the bottom of the article and discovered the reason why Johnson was at the brand-spanking new testament to Jerry Jones’ massive ego in the first place:

The commercials Johnson taped Thursday include a code of conduct message that will be played inside Cowboys Stadium, and two more about drinking responsibly that will air locally and nationally.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa…whoa.

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What I would like to know is who came up with the genius concept of having Jimmy Johnson, the beer-swilling, lady-killing, cougar-drilling, party animal telling other people how to behave when using alcohol? If anyone in Jimmy’s social circle would allow their booze-reddened eyes to clear up for an hour or two, they might notice that the crazy sonofabitch is about three nights of hard-drinking-his-way-through-the-Miami-retiree-bar-circuit away from needing an intervention.

No, this isn’t right. Or is this simply a case of “do as I say, not as I do”? You know, the same way Johnson probably wouldn’t recommend using varnish as a hair care product. Or maybe he would. I guess you never know what ol’ Jimmy is likely to do next. It entirely depends on how loaded he happens to be at the time.

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Case in point. But I guess to be fair, once he cleared out the cobwebs, this little senorita rode little Jimmy like a bucking bronco.

Summer nights.

Jimmy Johnson: Cowboys’ video boards are just fine [Sporting News/AP]