How About We Twist This One Up And Call It A Week?
We finally made it, kids. Another weekend is upon us and I ain’t got shit to do – besides golf – which always makes me perfectly happy.
Let’s see what I accomplished when I should have been working this week, shall we?
- Tony Dungy doesn’t want Michael Vick out in public having “gay drinks.”
- Dirk Nowitzki won’t have to worry about seeing Cristal Taylor for a few years.
- Jeff Kent: moron, offender of decent men who have decent mustaches.
- The U.S. Open will not be the same without Dominika Cibulkova. Nevertheless, my fantasy file is changed forever.
- Isiah Thomas doesn’t give a fuck about people with cancer.
- Some Minnesotans get offended by the lamest things.
- Golfer Blair O’Neal: surprisingly, still attractive.
- SI let me down by a completely normal Cheerleader of the Week.
- John McEnroe enjoys getting his butthole fingered.
- Jimmy Johnson: the worst person ever to be chosen to address the merits of responsible drinking.
Okay, that about does it. Have a great weekend, everyone – there’s not many of these summer days left – at least in my neck of the woods. Thanks for dropping by this week.
Finally, in honor of the release of Halloween 2, a little White Zombie to get the weekend started off right. Welcome to Planet Motherfucker, motherfucker.