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Lame: SI Cheerleader Of The Week Lisa Doesn’t Scare Me

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Just when I thought I had those bastards over at SI pegged, they throw me a curveball. As you can see, Lisa, a senior General Science major at the University of Oregon, is a looker and by all accounts appears, well, normal. No wonk eye. No psycho stare. What gives?

For a while there I was beginning to believe that the people in charge of selecting the Cheerleader of the Week were geeky dweebs who were enacting their revenge on the type of girls that tormented them during their high school and college years. But no, they go with Lisa, a perfectly attractive, nicely proportioned, normal, all-American girl.

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You see? Nothing. No jagged scars. No supernumerary nipple. Shit, even her belly button is perfect. What the fungus? Maybe a photo of her posing with her fellow cheerleaders might show me something.

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Nope. Nothing to see here, either, other than the fact that for some reason, the University of Oregon allowed a 46-year-old join the team (top right).

Perhaps some photos of her in action would help me detect some imperfection.

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Come on! She’s essentially flawless.

Crap, I give up.

Oh wait. There’s one more here:

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Ohhhhh, I think I get it now. Given how everyone is making the same gesture with their hands, I guess we have to assume that Lisa has, how shall I put it, been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean. You know, not much tread left on that tire? They call her Spelunker Snatch behind her back? That if she was naked and a stiff breeze were to pick up her snizz would look like a manta ray with its mouth open? Any of these working for you? No? Oh.

Cheerleader of the Week: Oregon’s Lisa [SI.com]