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Isiah Thomas Doesn’t Give A Damn About People With Cancer If It Means FIU Has To Play North Carolina

FIU Thomas Basketball

As far as Isiah Thomas is concerned, if charity were a woman, she would be a bitch (but that’s okay, Charity is a black woman).

Florida International University is threatening to pull out of the Coaches Vs. Cancer Tournament in November if it means they have to play the North Carolina Tar Heels instead of the Ohio State Buckeyes, whom they were originally scheduled to play.

FIU officials were equal parts incensed and stunned when they received an e-mailed press release of the Tar Heels’ schedule, listing Florida International as the season opener. Athletic director Pete Garcia said the school had been approached by the Gazelle Group, the tourney organizers, about switching its opener from the Buckeyes to the defending national champions but refused.

Unfortunately for FIU, the school signed a contract with the Gazelle Group that stipulated the tournament organizer had the discretion to select either Ohio State or North Carolina as FIU’s opponent.

Coach Thomas would have been fine playing superior competition, like Ohio State, but not super superior competition, like North Carolina.

“Big Ten country,” he said. “If at some point and time you’re going to be able to compete with the big boys, you might as well jump right into the fire and get started.”

So, Isiah Thomas, an Indiana Hoosier no less, is suggesting that a team from the ACC is too much for his squad but not a team from the Big Ten? For shame, Isiah. Either way, he is shocked – shocked I tell ya – about the switch.

“I had no idea,” he said. “No one contacted me, our athletic director, no one. Maybe in 2010, 2011 we can play North Carolina, but not this year.”

Sure, definitely not this year. And go and ruin FIU’s chances of a perfect season and a national championship? Come on, Coaches Against Cancer you dummies, what could you have possibly been thinking?

“I would be stunned if Isiah Thomas’ first act as a head coach was to break a contract,” [Gazelle Group President Rick] Giles said, although Thomas pointed out that the contract, signed in November 2008, was agreed upon before he arrived at FIU.

Yeah, could you imagine Isiah Thomas doing something stupid and irresponsible while in a position of leadership? That’s kooky talk! Unless it’s the CBA…or the Knicks…or blaming his accidental overdose on his daughter.

Coaches Vs. Cancer, it should be pointed out, has this message on its home page:

Whether you’re a coach or a dedicated fan, you can turn your love for basketball into a lifesaving cause by getting involved with Coaches vs. Cancer. Coaches vs. Cancer is a joint effort by the American Cancer Society and the National Association of Basketball Coaches that empowers basketball coaches, their teams, and communities to help win the fight against cancer . . . and we need your help.

Well, they can look to someone else besides Isiah Thomas for that help. Because if it’s up to him, FIU is either playing Ohio State or they aren’t playing at all. The American Cancer Society and anyone with cancer can go fuck themselves.

FIU wants to open vs. Ohio State [ESPN]
Isiah Thomas Is A Cunning Linguist [Deadspin]
Absolutely, Positively the Worst Team in the History of Professional Sports [New York Magazine]
Continental Basketball Association [Wikipedia]
Police Chief Blasts Isiah Thomas For Pinning Overdose On Daughter In “Cover-Up” [The Huffington Post]