Sportress of Blogitude

Don’t Waste Your Time, Marc Bulger, All He Is Going To Say Is A Bunch Of Crap About Praying

bulger-warner

St. Louis Rams quarterback Marc Bulger has a boo-boo on his wittle pinky and has decided he will seek guidance from former Rams quarterback and drawer of notoriously bad pictures of Jesus Kurt Warner. You see, Warner once injured his pinky while playing with the Rams, so I guess he would no better than anyone how to deal with it. You know, been there, done that sort of thing.

“I may talk to Kurt,” Bulger said Tuesday. “I tried to get in contact with him (Monday). Just to see how I can get back quicker, or something like that. … I know he did this in 2000.”

I can already guarantee what Warner will say: “Pray, Marc. Let the Lord heal thy wounds. Seek guidance from Jesus. He will lead the way.”

Or possibly, “Why in the fuck would I tell you how to handle your injury? Last I checked, the Rams and the Cardinals are in the same division – why on God’s green earth would I do anything to help you? If I did, the Rams might get 6 wins this year and I don’t need that bullshit. Now leave me alone and stop calling me – I’m trying to bang this 14-year-old Thai prostitute before Brenda gets home.”

Yeah, one of those two for sure. That Kurt Warner, though. Always shepherding the flock.

Bulger will seek advice from Warner on pinky injury [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
“That’s good, but I asked you to draw Godzilla.” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]